Navigating through the stereotypes and noise to ‘do’ pregnancy in a way that make senses to me

Navigating pregnancy and parenting can be a beautiful journey, but it's often overshadowed by societal judgments and expectations. From gendered stereotypes to the silencing of those who struggle to conceive, and the heart-wrenching grief of losing a child, the path to parenthood is fraught with challenges. However, finding peace with doing pregnancy, birth, and life as a parent in a judgment-free environment is not only possible but essential for the well-being of expectant mothers and parents.

One of the most pervasive challenges faced by expectant mothers is the weight of gendered stereotypes. Society often imposes rigid expectations on women, dictating how they should look, behave, and parent. From body image pressures to unrealistic standards of motherhood, these stereotypes can create immense pressure and anxiety for expectant mothers.

Furthermore, the silencing of individuals who struggle to conceive adds another layer of complexity to the journey to parenthood. Infertility is a deeply personal and often stigmatised experience, leaving many feeling isolated and unsupported. The inability to conceive naturally can lead to feelings of inadequacy and shame, further perpetuating the cycle of silence and stigma.

And for those who have experienced the unimaginable loss of a child, the grief can be overwhelming. Miscarriage, stillbirth, and infant loss are profound losses that are often misunderstood or minimised by society. The pain of losing a child is compounded by societal expectations to move on quickly or "try again," leaving grieving parents feeling invalidated and alone in their grief.

In the face of these challenges, it's crucial to cultivate a judgment-free environment that supports and uplifts expectant mothers and parents. This means recognising and challenging gendered stereotypes, amplifying the voices of those who struggle to conceive, and validating the grief of those who have experienced loss.

Support and guidance should be tailored to reflect the individual needs and experiences of expectant mothers rather than conforming to societal or individual expectations. This means asking the expectant parent what they need, instead of making assumptions based on your own experience, or what you believe is the ‘right way’. This may involve seeking out supportive communities, finding healthcare providers who prioritise holistic care, and advocating for one's own needs and preferences throughout the pregnancy and parenting journey.

Ultimately, finding peace with pregnancy, birth, and parenthood requires rejecting societal judgments and embracing the unique journey each individual takes to becoming a parent. And it’s hard to do. I’ve had to consciously try and avoid conversations, not click through to new links, and just come back and focus on what makes me feel calm.

It’s a challenging, amazing, emotional, hard yet beautiful time. But what expectant parents don’t need is the noise, is the tone or the minor judgements. We just need to reminded that we’re loved, and given the time and space to figure out the journey for ourselves.

By creating a judgment-free environment that honours and respects the diverse experiences of expectant mothers and parents, we can foster a culture of compassion, understanding, and support for all.